The "Piece-able" Things

Traditionally when one is seeking peace and refuge he heads for home. Home and family are the things that usually offer us comfort and support in trying times. I've noticed, however, that in these trying times that our families, instead of bringing us peace, are falling to pieces. The confusion that follows this break-down has left many of us wondering how to react, and adding a whole new chapter to"Emily Post's" book of etiquette. Where is home when your parents are divorced, each married to someone else; who do you invite to "family" get-togethers when your sibling's ex is in town, but has the kids, which are technically still "family"? What is a family? That concept is constantly being re-worked in the media in order for those whose "traditional" family has fallen to pieces to still feel like a family. With same-sex marriages, and alternate lifestyles being "hot" political topics, you almost can't say the word "family" without someone condemning your comments. Personally, I believe that the ideal family is Dad, Mom and kids, but I also recognize that bad stuff happens and that the ideal isn't always possible. On the other hand, I think that the ideal is a lot more possible than people want to think. As I mentioned in an earlier post, when we're young we take things apart and learn about the pieces, in order to then comprehend the whole. Unfortunately, many of us are forgetting that the pieces make a bigger whole, and we get stuck mistakenly believing that a "piece" is the whole thing. We forget, or fail to learn that we, ourselves, are only "pieces" in a bigger whole. Words like "sacrifice", "service", "compromise" and "selflessness" are being slowly eradicated from our consciousness, only to be replaced by "self-fulfillment", "selfishness", and "ME". When this happens families do fall apart, because the whole concept of "family" is based on looking beyond yourself to the needs of others, and if you can't do that then you can't sustain a family relationship for long. It's time to put the pieces back together kids! It's time to allow ourselves to mature and grow-up, to let go of the superficial and reach for the supernal. A wise person once said "It all begins with me" and it's true. When it seems like everything is falling to pieces around us, we can make something whole, by looking beyond ourselves. Perhaps as we do this we will find the peace that comes from putting together the pieces.

Wanna Piece of Me?

So, being new to the world of blogging (and technologically challenged to boot) I have been trying to navigate the world of "templates" and "layouts" and what have you, in order to make my blog "look good". Well, after hours of clicking and scrolling and stuff, I'm right back where I started! Frustrated and with my eyes glazed over from reading web pages I'm still no closer to a "better" layout than I was before. I think this stuff must be for the young who are born intuitively knowing how to do it! I've been too busy raising kids to keep up with technology and now look at me! I'm the poor sap in the corner whose children look at her with rolled eyes and pity as I struggle to just do the basics on Facebook! Personally I'm not sure I'm ready for the blogging world. I get overwhelmed just looking at some of those pages with all their glitter, buttons, badges, tattoos, links and ads! I'm not sure what's really the blog in all of that as I get sucked into the vortex of webpages that springs up with each click of the mouse. I think it's worse than channel surfing with the TV remote! I hop from page to page, not really knowing what it is that I'm looking at, or where it is that I'm going to! The top of my browser is filled with tabs, my eyes are crossed, my head hurts and all I've really accomplished is....what? I began by clicking on a link to take me to a coupon for toilet paper, but that page just listed a whole lot of links to different coupon sites for different kinds of toilet paper, so I picked one that looked promising(I really just want the stupid coupon!), but it took me to another site where I could pick other sites about coupons for all sorts of household things(including toilet paper). *aagh* So is there really a printable coupon or is this just a snipe hunt? Are "They" just laughing as They watch me navigate in circles trying to find the printable coupon whose existence has now reached mythical proportions? I can't even find the stupid coupon on someone else's blog, however will I figure out my own blog. Maybe I'll just do some old-fashioned typing and leave all the layout, sidebar, adsense, bling stuff for a later date! As I sit muttering and cursing at the computer, my 8 yr old asks what my problem is. I tell him I'm trying to find a printable coupon for toilet paper and it's not working. "Mom," he says, very patiently, "You click right here, where it says " He takes the mouse, clicks the link, and voila! Giving me a hopeless look he walks away as I sit there bewildered, because isn't that the link that I clicked on in the first place?

Piece Makers

Anyone with children can tell you how quickly your home can go from peaceful, to pieces! I have learned to be the consumate peacemaker in a home with seven "piecemakers"! I have often been asked how I handle the chaos that ensues with having such a large family, and there simply isn't one magic solution. First of all I have fine-tuned my "selective hearing". We all learn that as kids, so it's a skill you most likely already possess! It's always amazing that if you whisper "come get ice cream", children in the next room, or even downstairs will hear you. Conversely, if you are yelling "Time for bed!" at the top of your lungs, kids playing in the same room as you will always say "I didn't hear you say it was time for bed". So I have used this skill to advantage as a mother as well. I can wake out of a dead sleep at the slightest breathing variation in a sleeping baby in the other room, but I have learned to tune out the loud yelling and laughter that kids produce while playing. I let the noise just swirl around me along with the kids as they run around being...well...kids! There is a difference, however between "good" noise and "bad" noise. When the bickering and arguing start, my selective hearing kicks off and I find myself more often than not in the position of referee. Children, by design, are there to take your sanity and shred it into pieces! My husband tells me it is in their "job description". As I take a step back and look at this cycle of "piece-making" and "peace-making" I realize that it is by design; it is a process that teaches and helps us to become. As children, newly come to this world, we cannot comprehend, in its entirety, much of what is around us, so we take it apart. We break it down into "pieces" that we can see and comprehend. Symbolically speaking, that is. I hear so often adults complaining that their teenagers don't see the whole picture. They are trying to counsel their kids to be wise and check out all their option, not to do foolish things because they disregard the future to indulge in only the present, but I submit to you that that is the way things ought to be. Children are "piecemakers", they have to be in order to learn how life works. Then, as they mature, and if they have been given all the right pieces they begin to see how it all fits into one magnificent whole; then they begin to "piece" things together. Then as healthy, well-adjusted adults they make the transition from "piece-maker" to peacemaker. Theoretically speaking anyway. I say that because I'm sure there are many pieces of the puzzle that I am still missing, but you get the idea. So keep being a peacemaker and watch with wonder what amazing things your children will learn and become as they put the pieces together.

Some of the pieces

We learn very young that things are made of pieces; when our first cracker breaks, or when we see a glass shatter as it hits the floor. At first this seems like a very sad thing--whole things breaking into pieces, but as I've gotten older, and potentially wiser, I've learned that "pieces" can be wonderful by themselves. I've learned that studying "pieces" can help us understand the "whole" in a different way, so in my search to know myself, I've begun to look at some of the "pieces" of my life.
When I learned to write, I was taught to make an outline--to figure out the beginning, the middle, and the end, but more often than not I would write my outline at the end--after I had figured out what I was going to write, because most of the time I preferred to begin in the middle. So here now I will begin my blog in the middle--with some of the most important "pieces" of my life--my kids. Much of what I learned before led me to motherhood, much of what I am now is because of my kids, and most of what I am becoming is guided by them. Anyone who is a Mother will know what I mean and realize that this is probably a cliche, nevertheless it is true. At the moment I am still the center of my kids' universe, as they get older they expand their horizons and become less centered on me, but what they often don't realize is that my world revolves around them! That is an unchanging thing--once a mother, always a mother! Therefore, as their horizons expand, so, by necessity, do mine, because my world encompasses theirs. So here's to My Kids, the most important "pieces" of the me that was, is, and will be.